We made it through the fourth trimester! The 3 months where your baby would have preferred to still be in the womb. In my opinion, months 2 and 3 are the hardest. The first month you have a sleepy new baby and no one expects anything from you. Then suddenly you’re just supposed to have it all together 🤯 and thats when your baby starts to lose it.

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A Survival Guide for the Fourth Trimester

As I set out to write this blog, I did a little research. I came across a NY Times article titled, “A Survival Guide for the Fourth Trimester”. Here are the tips:

1. Stock up on supplies. For yourself.
2. Find a physical therapist.
3. Evaluate your core.
4. Seek breast-feeding support.
5. Sleep as much as possible.

Well that little list is sure easier said than done. Okay, I did #1. I had supplies on hand for clogged ducts and leaky boobs. Definitely did not find a physical therapist, I have a hard time simply paying my bills on time right now. Evaluated my core, but didn’t do anything about it (see #2). Did not seek breast-feeding support despite feeling a lot of frustration. Did not sleep as much as possible because I was back to work after 6 weeks and taking care of a toddler (and breastfeeding).

For many people, one or two nights of good sleep totally changes their emotional assessment of their relationship with their child and their relationship to parenthood.

Dr. Alexandra Sacks

Sleep is the key though. That is why I work so hard in the beginning to get my baby on a schedule and falling asleep on their own. This girl has been a lot more work than my first, but we’ve made some major progress and she is now sleeping through the night at 12 weeks 🙌🏻.

Big Brother

Harrison is doing amazing with baby sister. He’s very concerned when she’s crying, and always wants to come get her up from her nap. He gives her kisses all the time and really could not be sweeter. We decided to send him to daycare twice a week in the mornings and I think after 6 weeks he’s finally stopped crying about going. His behavior has definitely improved, I think all the extra attention from having daddy home from work was great but it was a lot for him. Now that it’s just us again things seem (surprisingly) easier.

He climbed out of his crib when Evelyn was two weeks old and even after we dropped the mattress to the floor, he then figured out how to take off his zipadee-zip and climb out. I will never forget the morning I was in my bed feeding Evelyn and he just came walking out of his room 🤣. He now knows he is not allowed to climb out and has to wait for mom or dad to come get him. I’m just not ready for a big boy bed. Just like I’m not ready to send him full day to daycare yet. I want him to stay my baby for as long as possible.

Eat

If you read my 1-month update, you know Evelyn was struggling a lot with gas pains. Thankfully over time that went away and I did not have to cut anything out of my diet. As my doctor told me, their digestive system eventually matures and the problem usually resolves itself.

As it goes, one problem resolves itself and another develops. Nursing her has become a real STRUGGLE. If she is not really hungry she just seems uninterested. I try to follow the feed-wake-sleep pattern that Babywise suggests but sometimes she wakes up from a nap and has no interest in eating. Even after 3 hours. Or she will eat for a very short time (4-6 minutes) and then be done.

I am trying to trust that she is getting what she needs because she’s gaining weight (weighed 10 lbs, 4 oz at 12 weeks) but it’s definitely frustrating. Sometimes I just give up and pump her a bottle. I know I have a fast letdown, I can pump 4 ounces in as little as 4 minutes so maybe she is just very efficient. She was struggling with short naps (more on that below) so I worried that maybe she wasn’t getting enough milk.

I’m so tempted to just pump and bottle feed her but I don’t want to go down that road just yet. I know it would give me a little more peace of mind and less frustration but it will also create a lot more work at the same time. A friend advised me to make an appointment with a lactation consultant to do a weighted feed. This could at least give me more information about what she’s taking in. Any advice on this? Please send it my way.

Sleep

At 12 weeks, after a visit to the ER with Bronchiolitis, she decided to SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT! I’m still celebrating. She has been pretty consistent with it over the past two weeks with the exception of 1 or 2 nights. During month two I really struggled with getting her to nap longer than 30-45 minutes. It’s called the 45-minute intruder, you can read more about it on takingcarababies.com here. Babies typically transition from one phase of sleep to the next at this time and they wake up, for various reasons. She could not fall back asleep on her own so I was going in every 5 minutes to try to get her back to sleep. It was killing me but it was worth it because now most of her naps are at least 90 minutes. Putting her in her room in her crib really helped with this.

Here is her current schedule:

• 7:00am wake & feed
• 9:30-10am feed
• 12:30-1pm feed
• 3-3:30pm feed
• 5:30-6pm feed
• 8-8:30pm feed
• 11:00pm dream feed

As you can see, these feeding times are just a guideline. Her ideal wake time seems to be about 65-75 minutes. I am still pumping and giving her a bottle at the dream feed because she is so sleepy I could never get her to nurse. She usually only takes about 1-2 oz so I should be able to drop this soon. I am committing to continue to pump at this time regardless. With Harrison I got lazy and stopped and I definitely noticed a drop in my supply.

My Body (and Mind)

I was cleared to workout at 6 weeks and started doing my LIIFT 4 workout from Beachbody on Demand. Still modifying most core moves but I’m feeling a lot stronger. My goal is to run a 10k race this year so I’ve started going to the gym on Tuesdays and Thursdays to run on the treadmill. (When I say run, I mean mostly walk with a little bit of running). Working out is essential to my mental health. I honestly used to get on the scale every day and now I don’t even care (okay, I care less about) what I weigh. So there’s one win.

I’ve really struggled to feel motivated and find enjoyment in things. It is so easy to get into a routine of staying in the house and doing the same things over and over again, especially in the winter. I recently set some small goals for myself and I already feel an improvement. Here are some of my goals: try one new recipe a week, go to the office on Tuesdays (to interact with some adults), read 30 minutes a day.

I will leave you with this 👇🏻 because it is everything.

Love,